Wow, it has been a long time since I posted anything. Now I have to try to remember what has happened in the last few months...

In October I went to Hawaii to see Shawn for a few days. Four, to be exact. That is a hard trip to make for four days, but it was worth it. We both needed a break from our daily lives, and more importantly, time together.

One thing I was able to do on this trip was go snorkeling for the first time. It was so amazing. I think it was by far the most relaxing recreational activity I have ever done. Shawn told me you kind of forget where you are at because you become so mesmerized by everything. I would agree with that description. I hope we get to go again!

Shawn will be home in four days!!! I am starting to get nervous, which always happens before he come into town. I think it's kind of cute that after two (almost three) years of this, we still get nervous to see each other.

Ellie was a tiger for Halloween this year. She was such a cute little tiger. She is getting so big! I miss the days when she was a little baby and wanted to cuddle all the time. Now she only wants to cuddle when she is sick! She is a really good kid. Some days, I could sell her to the gypsies though!!! I know it is just a part of growing up, learning what she can and can not get away with. She has such an attitude sometimes! She likes to yell at me and say rude things to me. She gets this tone in her voice that makes my skin crawl. I try really hard not to let her attitude get to me, but sometimes I get too frustrated. The new thing I am telling myself is that she is a little person, figuring out how a big world works. I need to explain to her (over and over again) how it works. As smart as she is, she is still a kid...

She is really excited for Shawn to come home. She talks to him just about every night she is home. She really does love him, which I am grateful for because I thought it would be hard for them to forge a relationship given the situation. But without any pushing from me one way or the other, they have bonded, even over the distance.

I have always just let Ellie figure out her own relationships with her father and Shawn. I decided, given my own relationships with my father and step-dad, that forcing her to "love" Shawn would not allow them to create any real lasting bond and sharing my negative opinions of her father will only make me look petty in the future. There may come a day when she hates Shawn because he is not her father. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. I trust Shawn will handle the situation with the same amount of respect for Ellie that he has always shown. For now, I am just happy knowing that Shawn, Ellie and I love each other very much.

That is really all... I am incredibly grateful for my life. The past few years have been full of happines, and they seem to get better and better. Shawn and I are closer than ever, which is difficult to manage sometimes with him so far away. Ellie is a smart, healthy little girl who is independent and full of love. We have hit some bumps, but have come out of the situation just fine. I can't begin to count all our blessings, or express my gratitude for all we have received. I am not sure why Shawn and I have been so lucky, why things seem to just "fall into place" for us, but I am grateful beyond measure.

It is time for me to get a move on cleaning this house and wrapping the rest of the presents... Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday!!!

-Nic